Once again I set myself up for disappointment, it is no use despite that I try to remain outside of myself but it never fails, there I go again about ready to turn and walk away and then I step off the edge of a cliff. Hey listen, of course it was good for the short time it lasted. There was giggling and a pang of excitement that took my body over for a period of 192 hours while I was under the disillusion that it and I were actually going to be different this time, that I would patiently maintain my self composure and be a perfectly able bodied citizen while the world spun on it’s axsis and we went about business in our usually slow motion paper-filled sort of way. While behind the glass curtain there was tension, there was this heavy burden that filled the space we walked in. The wind as we walk is wrapped up in those uncomfortable moments of silence when time moves it’s slowest. Except it doesn’t work out like that in the real world as well as it does on paper and so here I am faced with the conceptual misfortune of knowing that in due time this too will turn sour.