reentry definitely sucks
someone tell me I am having a bad dream and really I am still on the beach with my red bull and vodka talking with that fine fine tan man with blond hair and ice-blue eyes...
someone tell me that I didn't just fall in complete lust with my scuba instuctor as he gently touched my lips with his fingertips under the open water to teach me how to exhale with out my regulator....
someone tell me that this guy who is dancing with me must be a robot, clearly I have never met a man who can dance the samba and the friggin meringue from NJ...
someone tell me that my boss missed her farm of pigs and packed her shit and moved back to blue mountains......
3.27.2003
3.13.2003
A Moment of Reality
I am scrambling here...the bags are packed, I'm ready to go, I'm standing here outside your door, I hate to wake you up to say goodbye..But the dawn is breakin,it's early morn, the taxi's waitin, he's blowin his hour, already I'm so lonesome I could die...
So kiss me and smile for me,Tell me that you'll wait for me, Hold me like you never let me go.'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, Don't know when I'll be back again. Oh babe, I hate to go....
well not really but that is the way John Denver wrote the song and it just sort of came ....
I'll sure miss my computer while I'm away.... and my fine fine posse of peeps...
BUT God willing, I'll be back! and as ginagirl states some times we forget that life can be cut short so we must learn to live our life's desires in the moment.
On that note I will leave you with these thoughts.....
Study as if you were going to live forever; live as if you were going to die tomorrow.- Maria Mitchell
oh and one more thing; burn the candle at both ends, it gives off a stunning light...
I am scrambling here...the bags are packed, I'm ready to go, I'm standing here outside your door, I hate to wake you up to say goodbye..But the dawn is breakin,it's early morn, the taxi's waitin, he's blowin his hour, already I'm so lonesome I could die...
So kiss me and smile for me,Tell me that you'll wait for me, Hold me like you never let me go.'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, Don't know when I'll be back again. Oh babe, I hate to go....
well not really but that is the way John Denver wrote the song and it just sort of came ....
I'll sure miss my computer while I'm away.... and my fine fine posse of peeps...
BUT God willing, I'll be back! and as ginagirl states some times we forget that life can be cut short so we must learn to live our life's desires in the moment.
On that note I will leave you with these thoughts.....
Study as if you were going to live forever; live as if you were going to die tomorrow.- Maria Mitchell
oh and one more thing; burn the candle at both ends, it gives off a stunning light...
3.12.2003
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. - Bertrand Russell
I Can not believe he critiqued my writing skills on this blog.......Get a JOB!
I Can not believe he critiqued my writing skills on this blog.......Get a JOB!
3.11.2003
"And see, no longer blinded by our eyes." -Rupert Brooke
Being in a relationship with Barry was like getting this great big gift on Christmas morning, the excitement at times was overwhelming. The packaging was so beautiful it had bows and ribbons with a "to" tag scripted in that slanted penmanship with my name on it. It was mystical, it was mysterious and enchanting.
And that was grand, it was great.
And then when I was certain that gift was for me, I wanted to tear open the box with all it's packaging and reach in for the concealed gift hidden within the confinds of the box.
The real surprise, the truth behind all the neatly adorned ribbons and bows and perfectly chosen gift wrap, was that the box was empty.
There was nothing there, no pieces to put together, no music boxes to wind, just an empty box. It just sat there, it couldn't reach out to anyone as others had toward it. Emotionally it was empty, and I, exhasted and disappointed grew empty as a result.
Being in a relationship with Barry was like getting this great big gift on Christmas morning, the excitement at times was overwhelming. The packaging was so beautiful it had bows and ribbons with a "to" tag scripted in that slanted penmanship with my name on it. It was mystical, it was mysterious and enchanting.
And that was grand, it was great.
And then when I was certain that gift was for me, I wanted to tear open the box with all it's packaging and reach in for the concealed gift hidden within the confinds of the box.
The real surprise, the truth behind all the neatly adorned ribbons and bows and perfectly chosen gift wrap, was that the box was empty.
There was nothing there, no pieces to put together, no music boxes to wind, just an empty box. It just sat there, it couldn't reach out to anyone as others had toward it. Emotionally it was empty, and I, exhasted and disappointed grew empty as a result.
I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all.
-JONI MITCHELL
Things I noticed today:
A black crow sits on the top of the water tower outside my office window.
C has a bit of nervous energy and constantly even in times of rest resorts to shaking her lower leg at very quick intervals.
C & J have nervous energy that causes them to rock while seated....No wonder! who knew?!
Todd has very blue eyes and his daughters' are the same shape as her mothers but the color of his...
Most computer techs smoke.
My watch is running fast.
I procastinate when I have a ton of shit to do.
GD gets the shakes and does not eat full meals, has a enormous black and blue on his right fist as though he punched something.
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all.
-JONI MITCHELL
Things I noticed today:
A black crow sits on the top of the water tower outside my office window.
C has a bit of nervous energy and constantly even in times of rest resorts to shaking her lower leg at very quick intervals.
C & J have nervous energy that causes them to rock while seated....No wonder! who knew?!
Todd has very blue eyes and his daughters' are the same shape as her mothers but the color of his...
Most computer techs smoke.
My watch is running fast.
I procastinate when I have a ton of shit to do.
GD gets the shakes and does not eat full meals, has a enormous black and blue on his right fist as though he punched something.
3.10.2003
Tellin it Like it is or Was
Has Mel Gibson not a clue what to do with his time and money? The actor is reportably in the final stages of a film which he solely produced that depicts the "true" last 12 hours in the life of Jesus Christ. The film, entitled "The Passion" (why does this remind me of Peter Gabriel's "Passion" album done exclusively for the film," The Last Temptation of Christ"?) is spoken entirely in the authentic languages of Latin and Aramaic. Well.
Going under the contention alone that the two earlier mentioned languages are dead---who will understand what anyone is saying? This film then will have to be visually very powerful. I will also venture out on a limb and say that this will piss some people off -- not the language part, but the adaptation. I can hear it now. The Jewish community will feel once again like they are being marked with the responsibility in the death of Jesus, and The Vatican is going to go on public record, while not denouncing the actor himself who is a devote Catholic and holds Latin masses daily in his CA home, to state something to the fact that the Catholic Church does not recognize the film's message. Since the Vatican II basically rewrote history to negate the Jewish responsibility in the death of Jesus, the film "The Passion" depicts otherwise, and once again places Pilate as the kingpin who is desperate for acceptance from of the Jewish people and his willingness to please Caesar, orders the crucifixion of Jesus.
If you have two religions in your land, the two will cut each other's throats; but if you have thirty religions, they will dwell in peace. - Voltaire
Oh the division of religion.... in either sense I might actually want to view this upon release. Seeing as though I will have to watch the film, I could also listen to music, preferrably the album noted above may fit nicely in my pocket while at the theater.
On another note. God punished me today. He does this from time to time... On my way out, rather glad to have the window cracked for some fresh air in the car, I grabbed hold of my water bottle and thought, oh darn these silly little sports bottle caps, I can just throw it out the window. Just as I thought that, I see in the oncoming lane a rather large commercial van. I also see a big puddle in the middle of the road.......Shall I make you guess what happens next. The window is open just enough so that when the bastard drives by, all the water from the road sprays up onto the windshield and on the side window as well. Had the window been up, I would have been spared the spray........I was not however that lucky, but was happy to be wearing my sunglasses since they caught the bulk of the impact. Of course I laughed, and out loud to myself, as I put the darn pop top in the compartment in the side of the door.
Has Mel Gibson not a clue what to do with his time and money? The actor is reportably in the final stages of a film which he solely produced that depicts the "true" last 12 hours in the life of Jesus Christ. The film, entitled "The Passion" (why does this remind me of Peter Gabriel's "Passion" album done exclusively for the film," The Last Temptation of Christ"?) is spoken entirely in the authentic languages of Latin and Aramaic. Well.
Going under the contention alone that the two earlier mentioned languages are dead---who will understand what anyone is saying? This film then will have to be visually very powerful. I will also venture out on a limb and say that this will piss some people off -- not the language part, but the adaptation. I can hear it now. The Jewish community will feel once again like they are being marked with the responsibility in the death of Jesus, and The Vatican is going to go on public record, while not denouncing the actor himself who is a devote Catholic and holds Latin masses daily in his CA home, to state something to the fact that the Catholic Church does not recognize the film's message. Since the Vatican II basically rewrote history to negate the Jewish responsibility in the death of Jesus, the film "The Passion" depicts otherwise, and once again places Pilate as the kingpin who is desperate for acceptance from of the Jewish people and his willingness to please Caesar, orders the crucifixion of Jesus.
If you have two religions in your land, the two will cut each other's throats; but if you have thirty religions, they will dwell in peace. - Voltaire
Oh the division of religion.... in either sense I might actually want to view this upon release. Seeing as though I will have to watch the film, I could also listen to music, preferrably the album noted above may fit nicely in my pocket while at the theater.
On another note. God punished me today. He does this from time to time... On my way out, rather glad to have the window cracked for some fresh air in the car, I grabbed hold of my water bottle and thought, oh darn these silly little sports bottle caps, I can just throw it out the window. Just as I thought that, I see in the oncoming lane a rather large commercial van. I also see a big puddle in the middle of the road.......Shall I make you guess what happens next. The window is open just enough so that when the bastard drives by, all the water from the road sprays up onto the windshield and on the side window as well. Had the window been up, I would have been spared the spray........I was not however that lucky, but was happy to be wearing my sunglasses since they caught the bulk of the impact. Of course I laughed, and out loud to myself, as I put the darn pop top in the compartment in the side of the door.
3.09.2003
ok so I write a lot of lists, I have a lot of half scribbled pages of notes to myself laying around everywhere, I don't want to forget something but at the same time I don't want to remember either... So the spare bedroom is presently a dressing room of sorts. I have the suitcase all laid out, the clothes are growing in numbers like soldiers they in preparation for their trip. I on the other hand am exhasted and still looking for the right pair of shoes to travel with... oh the decisons are endless. perhaps a movie to distract the distractable little old me........
I'll give you careless amounts of out right
Acceptance if you want it. I'll give you
Encouragement to choose the path you want if you need it.
You can speak of anger and doubts,
Your fears and freak-outs and I'll hold it.
You can share your so-called
Shamefilled accounts of times in your life and I won't judge it.
And there are no strings attached,
You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give.
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have.
I give you thanks for receiving, it's my privilege,
And you owe me nothing in return.
You can ask for space for yourself
And only yourself and I'll grant it.
You can ask for freedom as was
Or time to revel and you'll have it.
You can ask to live by yourself
Or love someone else and I'll support it.
You can ask for anything you want
Anything at all and I'll understand it.
I bet you're wondering when
The next payback you'll eventually drop.
I bet you're wondering when my conditions or policies will force you to cough up.
I bet you're wondering how far you now have danced moved back into dead.
This is the only kind of love
As I understand it that there really is.
You can express your deepest of truths
Even if it means I'll lose you and I'll hear it.
You can fall into the abyss
On the way to your bliss
And I'll empathize with.
You can't say that you'll have to skip town
To chase your passion and I'll hear it.
You can leave and hit rock bottom have a mid-life crisis and I'll hold it
And you owe me nothing in return
-Alanis Morissette - You Owe Me Nothing In Return
I find this to be quite a little number that I can't get out of my head..
Acceptance if you want it. I'll give you
Encouragement to choose the path you want if you need it.
You can speak of anger and doubts,
Your fears and freak-outs and I'll hold it.
You can share your so-called
Shamefilled accounts of times in your life and I won't judge it.
And there are no strings attached,
You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give.
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have.
I give you thanks for receiving, it's my privilege,
And you owe me nothing in return.
You can ask for space for yourself
And only yourself and I'll grant it.
You can ask for freedom as was
Or time to revel and you'll have it.
You can ask to live by yourself
Or love someone else and I'll support it.
You can ask for anything you want
Anything at all and I'll understand it.
I bet you're wondering when
The next payback you'll eventually drop.
I bet you're wondering when my conditions or policies will force you to cough up.
I bet you're wondering how far you now have danced moved back into dead.
This is the only kind of love
As I understand it that there really is.
You can express your deepest of truths
Even if it means I'll lose you and I'll hear it.
You can fall into the abyss
On the way to your bliss
And I'll empathize with.
You can't say that you'll have to skip town
To chase your passion and I'll hear it.
You can leave and hit rock bottom have a mid-life crisis and I'll hold it
And you owe me nothing in return
-Alanis Morissette - You Owe Me Nothing In Return
I find this to be quite a little number that I can't get out of my head..
3.08.2003
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
ah yes indeed, it maybe pathetic but true, J forgot to add me to the list of invites to our platform meeting w/ our big vendor of choice....Not a big deal except that I am leading all the programming changes for the web platform and employee communications rollout and may need to know some of what they discussed... Problem number 1: I look like I simply didn't show up. Problem number 2: J actually thought I didn't show up.
See when I confronted her on the topic infront of our director, she said of course I had you meeting request in Outlook...."No", I replied, "I would have gotten the email and responsed to the request had I been on the invite. Look in the meeting request and it will not show my name...see for yourself..."
"OH", "HAAAAA, I am such a nerd!" she says, "I am soo sorry!, I did that once to T too, and he was left out of the loop." I think to myself well your not a computer nerd that is for certain but definitely a nerd of another kind that is for sure... I offer to help her create a distribution list for this project to include all the key members so no one is left uninformed. She says sure but when the Director chimes in and asks in a matter of fact sort of way, "don't you know how to do that?" J, replies with "oh sure, I am certain I do, I just don't take the time to set it up." Right, I think to myself, she can't find her way around on the freakin computer, I highly doubt you can manage an organized task as setting up the program to do something automatically.
ah yes indeed, it maybe pathetic but true, J forgot to add me to the list of invites to our platform meeting w/ our big vendor of choice....Not a big deal except that I am leading all the programming changes for the web platform and employee communications rollout and may need to know some of what they discussed... Problem number 1: I look like I simply didn't show up. Problem number 2: J actually thought I didn't show up.
See when I confronted her on the topic infront of our director, she said of course I had you meeting request in Outlook...."No", I replied, "I would have gotten the email and responsed to the request had I been on the invite. Look in the meeting request and it will not show my name...see for yourself..."
"OH", "HAAAAA, I am such a nerd!" she says, "I am soo sorry!, I did that once to T too, and he was left out of the loop." I think to myself well your not a computer nerd that is for certain but definitely a nerd of another kind that is for sure... I offer to help her create a distribution list for this project to include all the key members so no one is left uninformed. She says sure but when the Director chimes in and asks in a matter of fact sort of way, "don't you know how to do that?" J, replies with "oh sure, I am certain I do, I just don't take the time to set it up." Right, I think to myself, she can't find her way around on the freakin computer, I highly doubt you can manage an organized task as setting up the program to do something automatically.
3.06.2003
I felt it necessary to respond to a comment I received from my earlier post...regarding this MR.. RIGHT NOW...
Currently there is no Transitional Man, or Mr.. Right Now- but I suppose that is not something I would entirely rule out...
In regard to my earlier post this is my cynical perspective speaking or more appropriately my bad attitude. You see, IF opportunity knocked and Mr.. Right Now were to present himself, it would be just my luck that those very unappealing ten qualities he would posses, which is why I would argue the latter point that I simply may not be interested in the whole project. (problem number two, I view this as a chore of sorts).
And to further that point - ( this is where I start to philosophize....so exit if you find it repulsive-) Mr.. Right Now, or Transitional Man would have to be someone I would want to be with, so that would negate the whole Transitional thing....there is the element of something else that lurks in the darkness. If you like the person you want them to be more than transitional....right? Perhaps I have yet to master this skill.... I really have to like a person to see them on a somewhat regular basis or spend my time with them, ok that second part may sound pretentious but I know some of you out there in space will attest to this maybe in the bathroom with the door closed, --but other than acquaintances, dating someone for the sake of having someone to spend time with is just not my bag!
Sure I can stay up till three a.m. with the adults, doing adult things, and some not so adult things ( standing on a bar stool at the Raccoon Lodge singing Me and Bobby MeGee comes to mind here...) Hey, I slept with someone on the first date!! --(not necessarily proud of this very personal detail but ....in honesty, knowing full well that I would not be calling him in the near future and did not mind if he didn't call me (didn't want him to actually) made it ok somehow. (don't they talk about stuff like this on
Naked NY? You see, after five minutes of our initial meeting I knew we had this attraction between us, I didn't really find him my cup of tea, but was willing to give it a go.
While at dinner, he talked about himself and his money. boring. Halfway through dinner, he was aggravating me by attempting on more than one occasion to swallow my hand, (normally I would assume that when one kisses your hand, they do so in gentle caressing manner), on the way home from dinner he nearly suffocated me, when he offered me an invitation to accompany him inside to meet his housemates, I thought about it, sure what the hell.... I can always leave. When he invited me to view the wet bar in his bedroom, (Ok I was younger, a real risk taker, or opportunist) I figured what the heck!, I saw the opportunity to have some fun, and SO that was Mr. Of The Moment.....
As fate would have it Mr. Of the Moment did call, a few times thereafter, I told him I met someone I was serious about, so now in retrospect I suppose that was a potential Mr. Right Now.... If only I could stomach him outside of the bedroom, perhaps we would have gotten along... So I digress again,,,and ask myself Do I have the energy or patience rather for Mr. Right Now?? probably not.
Currently there is no Transitional Man, or Mr.. Right Now- but I suppose that is not something I would entirely rule out...
In regard to my earlier post this is my cynical perspective speaking or more appropriately my bad attitude. You see, IF opportunity knocked and Mr.. Right Now were to present himself, it would be just my luck that those very unappealing ten qualities he would posses, which is why I would argue the latter point that I simply may not be interested in the whole project. (problem number two, I view this as a chore of sorts).
And to further that point - ( this is where I start to philosophize....so exit if you find it repulsive-) Mr.. Right Now, or Transitional Man would have to be someone I would want to be with, so that would negate the whole Transitional thing....there is the element of something else that lurks in the darkness. If you like the person you want them to be more than transitional....right? Perhaps I have yet to master this skill.... I really have to like a person to see them on a somewhat regular basis or spend my time with them, ok that second part may sound pretentious but I know some of you out there in space will attest to this maybe in the bathroom with the door closed, --but other than acquaintances, dating someone for the sake of having someone to spend time with is just not my bag!
Sure I can stay up till three a.m. with the adults, doing adult things, and some not so adult things ( standing on a bar stool at the Raccoon Lodge singing Me and Bobby MeGee comes to mind here...) Hey, I slept with someone on the first date!! --(not necessarily proud of this very personal detail but ....in honesty, knowing full well that I would not be calling him in the near future and did not mind if he didn't call me (didn't want him to actually) made it ok somehow. (don't they talk about stuff like this on
Naked NY? You see, after five minutes of our initial meeting I knew we had this attraction between us, I didn't really find him my cup of tea, but was willing to give it a go.
While at dinner, he talked about himself and his money. boring. Halfway through dinner, he was aggravating me by attempting on more than one occasion to swallow my hand, (normally I would assume that when one kisses your hand, they do so in gentle caressing manner), on the way home from dinner he nearly suffocated me, when he offered me an invitation to accompany him inside to meet his housemates, I thought about it, sure what the hell.... I can always leave. When he invited me to view the wet bar in his bedroom, (Ok I was younger, a real risk taker, or opportunist) I figured what the heck!, I saw the opportunity to have some fun, and SO that was Mr. Of The Moment.....
As fate would have it Mr. Of the Moment did call, a few times thereafter, I told him I met someone I was serious about, so now in retrospect I suppose that was a potential Mr. Right Now.... If only I could stomach him outside of the bedroom, perhaps we would have gotten along... So I digress again,,,and ask myself Do I have the energy or patience rather for Mr. Right Now?? probably not.
Transitional man, Not Mr.. Right BUT Mr.. right-now.....I am thinking there is something to be said for that role. not a bad idea, not a bad place to be. I can do that. Can I do that? am I lazy for thinking not? am I not interested? what do I see wrong with Mr. right now? I find listing helpful---
1.He probably talks about himself too much, and brags that he balances his checkbook monthly( a sure sign of not enough to do).
2.He looks forward to wearing wife beater shirts in the warm weather thinking that it shows off his dedication to his constant battle to improve muscular appearance, despite internal deterioration.
3.He doesn't smoke (not such a bad thing) there is something to be said for a fresh clean scent from one's pores) BUT he preaches to the choir to those who choose to smoke.
4. He holds strong right-wing political views and lets everyone know the minute he has an opinion. (not all that attractive)
5. He doesn't take the time to care about himself. Sure he showers but does he cut his toenails? What do his hands look like- can he work with garden equipment?
6.This is a biggie --- He doesn't Read - anything! ( I could be picky here, but I will cut him some slack).
7. He is afraid of dogs.
8. He doesn't like wine
9. He paints himself of game days
10. Last but not Least---He is not into pleasing me--physically, mentally and spiritually.
1.He probably talks about himself too much, and brags that he balances his checkbook monthly( a sure sign of not enough to do).
2.He looks forward to wearing wife beater shirts in the warm weather thinking that it shows off his dedication to his constant battle to improve muscular appearance, despite internal deterioration.
3.He doesn't smoke (not such a bad thing) there is something to be said for a fresh clean scent from one's pores) BUT he preaches to the choir to those who choose to smoke.
4. He holds strong right-wing political views and lets everyone know the minute he has an opinion. (not all that attractive)
5. He doesn't take the time to care about himself. Sure he showers but does he cut his toenails? What do his hands look like- can he work with garden equipment?
6.This is a biggie --- He doesn't Read - anything! ( I could be picky here, but I will cut him some slack).
7. He is afraid of dogs.
8. He doesn't like wine
9. He paints himself of game days
10. Last but not Least---He is not into pleasing me--physically, mentally and spiritually.
IF you have a question raise your hand
Dear Ginagirl-
Seeing that I will be headed off to the British West Indies I am beside myself without organizational packing tips and techniques. Do you have a few hot tips to help me pack smart---I need to be prepared for bright days at the beach, snorkeling in the reefs, dining and dancing.....Certainly at this rate one Louis Vuitton Trunk isn't going to cut it!! HELP!
Dear Ginagirl-
Seeing that I will be headed off to the British West Indies I am beside myself without organizational packing tips and techniques. Do you have a few hot tips to help me pack smart---I need to be prepared for bright days at the beach, snorkeling in the reefs, dining and dancing.....Certainly at this rate one Louis Vuitton Trunk isn't going to cut it!! HELP!
3.05.2003
3.04.2003
3.03.2003
DEMOLISH THE STUPIDITY
This is a real excerpt of an email from a recruiter that responded to my sister's email....
1. Retail Analyst to work with VP of Sales – NYC - Not OPEN yet
2. Analyst w/ 1 year Quantitative skills & Modeling experience for RE Consulting Group – NJ - you are NOT and analyst
3. Staff &/or Senior Accountant w/ really strong basic accounting skills & accounting major – NYC - Job was FILLED
4. Accounting and Operations Associate (Entry-Level) for Specialized Investment/Tech Firm–NYC - You are NOT an accountant
5. General Associate: Finance and Operations (0 to 5 years of experience) for Specialize Firm-NYC - You are NOT a finance person
6. Assistant to Co-owner/Head of Production/Product Development (a lot of personal work)-NJ - You are NOT an admin Asst
Therefore, when I have something for YOU, I will let you know. Thanks,
On that note:
If you hate your parents, the man or the establishment, don't show them up by getting wasted and wrapping your car around a tree. If you really want to rebel against your parents: outearn them, outlive them, and know more than they do.
- Henry Rollins
This is a real excerpt of an email from a recruiter that responded to my sister's email....
1. Retail Analyst to work with VP of Sales – NYC - Not OPEN yet
2. Analyst w/ 1 year Quantitative skills & Modeling experience for RE Consulting Group – NJ - you are NOT and analyst
3. Staff &/or Senior Accountant w/ really strong basic accounting skills & accounting major – NYC - Job was FILLED
4. Accounting and Operations Associate (Entry-Level) for Specialized Investment/Tech Firm–NYC - You are NOT an accountant
5. General Associate: Finance and Operations (0 to 5 years of experience) for Specialize Firm-NYC - You are NOT a finance person
6. Assistant to Co-owner/Head of Production/Product Development (a lot of personal work)-NJ - You are NOT an admin Asst
Therefore, when I have something for YOU, I will let you know. Thanks,
On that note:
If you hate your parents, the man or the establishment, don't show them up by getting wasted and wrapping your car around a tree. If you really want to rebel against your parents: outearn them, outlive them, and know more than they do.
- Henry Rollins
It is not the brains that matter most, but that which guides them---the character, the heart, generous qualities, progressive ideas. - Dostoyevsky
monday monday....so I am still here. that would be breathing. yes I awoke this morning to utter confusion. I suppose I dreamt I was somewhere else and possibly another person all together. In any event, I literally woke up to the sun and said to myself,... work?! , I don't work, and not at Honeywell either. I work at Honeywell? The dog stared at me as I glanced around the room realizing that indeed I held a job, and was expected to be there in 45 minutes...hum,
Clearly I must be drinking too much or am experiencing the beginnings of a mental deterioration. I ask myself the following questions...
1. Do I drink alone?
No, not intentionally. does a glass of wine after work count or alone in the corner of a bar?
2. Do I drink more than twice a week?
Yes. I am guilty there.
3. Do I hear voices?
Peridocially in my sleep after I have been drinking.
4. Do I see things that are either not there or they are and are certainly voile insight?
Sometimes and only in public.
5. Do I talk to myself or homeless strangers?
Guilty here again. My conversation with the Morristown Mud Lady however proved to be quite an ephany for me.
So while I have come to the conclusion that one may not be so eager to fit in the confindes of our society, if you take the time to care for yourself, be it by using extremely dark makeup or slicked dreadlocked hair, you are only a lunatic if you let the world make you think you are not normal. this is all normal. I am Okay, at least for today.
I digress, my boss however is still a freak.
monday monday....so I am still here. that would be breathing. yes I awoke this morning to utter confusion. I suppose I dreamt I was somewhere else and possibly another person all together. In any event, I literally woke up to the sun and said to myself,... work?! , I don't work, and not at Honeywell either. I work at Honeywell? The dog stared at me as I glanced around the room realizing that indeed I held a job, and was expected to be there in 45 minutes...hum,
Clearly I must be drinking too much or am experiencing the beginnings of a mental deterioration. I ask myself the following questions...
1. Do I drink alone?
No, not intentionally. does a glass of wine after work count or alone in the corner of a bar?
2. Do I drink more than twice a week?
Yes. I am guilty there.
3. Do I hear voices?
Peridocially in my sleep after I have been drinking.
4. Do I see things that are either not there or they are and are certainly voile insight?
Sometimes and only in public.
5. Do I talk to myself or homeless strangers?
Guilty here again. My conversation with the Morristown Mud Lady however proved to be quite an ephany for me.
So while I have come to the conclusion that one may not be so eager to fit in the confindes of our society, if you take the time to care for yourself, be it by using extremely dark makeup or slicked dreadlocked hair, you are only a lunatic if you let the world make you think you are not normal. this is all normal. I am Okay, at least for today.
I digress, my boss however is still a freak.
3.02.2003
Since I have turned my posse onto this blog I am excited to have you join my room or rantings....feel free to leave me your feedback, and please don't take too much of what I say here personally. While I save the private stuff for another place peridocially I do get slightly off-color and out of control.......Peace.
Now that bargaining tool should have been marketed Gina! How Impressive an idea to place upon your parents when clearly eating the remainder of your meal is far beyond an accomplishable task. You may want to contact UPS to set up a joint venture. Certainly, you cannot deprive those young Americans from giving back.....especially in times like these.
So our evening turned out to be satisfactory despite a rather sour sight at an otherwise pleasant place. After a small stint of drinks w/ the ladies, I was dropped off in Pville. It was a night of talk and rumblings...while I hit the bed long before dawn, I had not slept until after six......gathering my things early on and escaping was the only hope I could count on to catch up on the sleep I have missed. I am however not sorry to have lost a few vital hours. the wait was well worth it.
OH p.s.->->--> For all you insiders.....Alex- I'll take the bald spots for 400 please.
Now that bargaining tool should have been marketed Gina! How Impressive an idea to place upon your parents when clearly eating the remainder of your meal is far beyond an accomplishable task. You may want to contact UPS to set up a joint venture. Certainly, you cannot deprive those young Americans from giving back.....especially in times like these.
So our evening turned out to be satisfactory despite a rather sour sight at an otherwise pleasant place. After a small stint of drinks w/ the ladies, I was dropped off in Pville. It was a night of talk and rumblings...while I hit the bed long before dawn, I had not slept until after six......gathering my things early on and escaping was the only hope I could count on to catch up on the sleep I have missed. I am however not sorry to have lost a few vital hours. the wait was well worth it.
OH p.s.->->--> For all you insiders.....Alex- I'll take the bald spots for 400 please.
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